My Dreams

Lama in My Lap!

The greens of the curtains around me was a blur when I opened my eyes slowly to the pain. The contractions had begun and were now coming in full swing. The tears of the labor pain in my eyes made the room even blurrier. The comprehension of my surroundings came a little late; I was in a hospital waiting to deliver my baby and my body and mind were in a mess.

The pain was coming in shorter span now making me more miserable but somehow I felt more alive than ever. I felt as if I was being caressed from inside; someone was happy that now it would be able to see me. I wondered if I were going delirious with pain and imagining things. But the emotion that was coursing through me was very-very real. I was drenched in the sweat due to the exhaustion, and then I begin to lose consciousness once again. And then I felt it again: the caressing from inside.

I was left with a feeling that it is going to take only a little longer. The wait was going to be over!

And then among the rush and noises, I heard voices of awe and admiration. I was not left with any energy but curiosity was getting better of me. I blinked my eyes to remove the traces of tears so that I could see my baby better. I got a glimpse of salt-pepper hair that were longer than those baby shoulders. And to my amazement, the baby was wearing a grey safari suit and a Nehru cap of the same grey-suit cloth.

And the baby boy was not crying at all. He seemed curious and aware about his surroundings as if wanted to interact.

Now he was beside me and my eyes were flooded due to the emotions my heart was going through. Suddenly, I saw his lips moving, actually mouthing words, comprehensible words  “I was waiting for this moment mother to finally see your pretty face and hear your voice clearly and not through the layers of muscles and liquid that surrounded me. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am to give you so much difficulty while you carried me through the 9 months, and when you had to go through the pain to bring me to this world.”

I was in awe, matching the expression I saw few moments ago on the faces of nurses and the doctor who helped me through the delivery. I felt a spiritual tug from him. His way of delivering words were like of the men world-wise and spiritually-detached. He drew my attention once again when he continued, “Now all the pain of the world would have to go through me if it has to meet you. I will make sure it doesn’t. Still when I fail at times, don’t ever lose heart because it’s God’s way of telling that you are alive.”

And then he fell silent, as if exhausted by the efforts the conversation took.

Listening to all what he had to say, I could only mouth one word for my very wise and spiritual baby, “Lama!”



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